TBTo the Screen

Buffy the Vampire Slayer:

The early nineties have to be forgiving. I mean the fashion was crazy. The language was like Morse code melting the brain. And Hilary Swank was just a girl tryna be on screen.

“Buffy the Vampire Slayer,” as rightfully the show, was a film was before its time. The constant catch phrase, “what a sitch” could have been the preface for “so fetch” or “so not the drama.” The Earth Conscious senior dance could totally work for a theme today. Hey, maybe Leonardo DiCaprio would show up. And Buffy did so many flips in the film that she makes Gabby Douglas look like child’s play. At least the stunt double did.

Luke Perry in this film as Pike, while in his heyday of “Beverly Hills, 90210,” was a little less broody than Dylan. Buffy’s boyfriend Jeffrey looked like Matty from “Awkward.” And then for Jeffrey to have the nerve to break up with Buffy without telling her and go to the senior dance with her best friend, Jenny, is just in fact another day in the hallways. Corny quotes like when a biker says to Buffy, “Hey baby, wanna get some real power in between your legs?” really makes me question how any kids were conceived during this decade. And then there is David Arquette, right there to give the film a randomly cool stamp of approval.

Joss Whedon has a knack for creating work that is perfectly strange and captures a moment in time. High school valley girl drama mixed with funny looking vampires and acts of heroism is really on the “higher learning” curve of great cult films. Even as the credits rolled a confused student said the vampires looked, “like animals and they had totally cold eyes. I think they were young Republicans.” Yeah, Joss nailed the stake with that.